Do you ever find yourself wanting to send a message to someone, in a fit of rage, because they ghosted you or cancelled a date at the last minute. Well, DON’T!
Here’s the deal, women are allowed to ditch you. It is their prerogative. So many women I’ve talked to have horror stories about guys who went nuts at them when they didn’t want to meet up or didn’t want a second date. Just because a girl says that a date was nice, even if they say they want to meet again, does not make you entitled to a second one, nor anything else. Some girls are on tinder and want to chat with guys and not go on dates with them. Again, just because you both enjoyed chatting does not mean you are entitled to anything. The men who don’t respect this, never get talked about in a good light, and once you have gotten mad with someone, you have burned that bridge, gained nothing and probably feel like crap.
So let’s be clear, you did not get ghosted because the girl is a bitch. You got ghosted because the girl decided she wasn’t bothered about messaging you any more. It is not her fault, it is either your fault or it is nobody’s fault.
So why would it be your fault? Well, lets be straight about this – when it comes to Tinder, girls get to choose. I once saw a stat that 80% of girls would only swipe right on 20% of men. If you are one of those 20%, great. But that leaves the 80% of us mere mortals, having to work hard. And this means that girls on Tinder have options. Many options. If you think they are terrible people for flitting from person to person, chatting, flirting and enjoying themselves,then stop it. Life is about enjoying yourself and Tinder is about chatting and flirting and maybe meeting up if you both choose to. So, bottom line here, if you got ghosted or ditched after date number one or after one evening of texting, it’s because you weren’t as likeable to her as the next guy or the guy in her head that she wants to be with or she never really had any intention of taking it further with you (which she is entirely allowed to do). It might just be that you simply weren’t to her taste, it might be that you did something a bit clingy or creepy or it might be that she didn’t see you as fun and interesting, but it’s definitely not her fault. She does not deserve for you to rant at her.
So if we’re not going to get angry about it, then what are we going to do? Getting angry shows you care and caring is a good thing. But maybe take a leaf out of their book and care a little less about going on that particular date you imagined with that particular girl. It’s a cliché, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. More than that, if you got so frustrated by one girl turning you down, or if you had your next date or chat, all planned out in your head, then maybe you are putting dating too much front and centre in your life. Maybe you were thinking, finally I found someone. If this is the case, then look outside of dating to get some kicks. Reconnect with some good friends, get into a passion of yours or find some new ones. If dating is just the icing on the cake of your social life, then you will naturally find that if a girl cuts you out, then it’s no big deal. But more importantly, people dig your passions and dig the cool stories you have about you, your passions and your mates. It almost makes no difference what your passions are (you can use them as a chance to gently take the mic out of yourself if they’re especially geeky), people will love that you have passions. And that means, next time, the girl is less likely to get bored of you and move on to one of her other options. Double win!
Another advantage of not getting angry is that, who knows, maybe once she’s chatted to a few other guys, she might drop back to you. Last festive season, I got a surprising number of merry Christmas messages from girls I hadn’t chatted to for ages. One girl that I really liked (who ditched me after two dates) was a massive Elon Musk groupie and super keen on gardening. I still message her every now and again and have a chat if Elon is in the news or if I want some gardening advice. Maybe we’ll never meet up again, but maybe we will. If it’s just fun to chat to her every so often, then it doesn’t matter if we never meet up again. Another thing to try is to just give it while, then drop her a funny message or two – a meme, or a funny picture. You might make her laugh and she might just drop you a reply. But no guarantees here. She has free will and if she has decided she doesn’t like you, or you weirded her out somehow, or she got a hint that you were getting mad, then you probably will never hear from her again. Often you just have to accept it’s not going to happen and move on. Just don’t be the subject of a conversation with her next date about the worst people she’s met on Tinder, because you were the obnoxious angry guy.
Have you ever got really angry with a Tinder match? How did you deal with it? Let us know in the comments below. If you like this content, then subscribe using the link at the top, to keep up to date with new articles and please hit the share button.